Pushing your Friends and Relatives Away
Eliza had a habit of frequently lamenting to others about her ‘friends’ and their misgivings; a tendency which would gradually wear out those who would care to listen to her persistent grumblings. A case in point was when, similar to Birungi’s predicament, Eliza reported to her sister-in-law, Wanyana; that a boss was mistreating her (Eliza). I recall how her sister-in-law, Wanyana had called me complaining that she was getting tired of Eliza’s whinings. “We cannot even know for sure, if she is not involved with the man”, the in-law had declared, with a malicious twang in her voice. But Wanyana was not the only one getting weary of Eliza’s lamentations. For even some of her so-called friends had gradually reduced the frequency of their visits to Eliza’s house for fear that if they listened to her bitter ramblings long enough, they could be corrupted by her dissatisfactions.
Many people prefer a life of peace and quiet. So when your whinings about others become unbearably frequent, valuable relationships can get eroded as friends retreat to safer ground – lest your bitter tongue ‘defiles’ them. Others could find it stressful to be subjected to bitter stories ‘twenty-four seven’. Such tendencies can easily render you a ‘loner’; since you become like an uninhabited island where friends drop and depart a short while later!