Manage your Thoughts and Emotions
The ability to manage your thoughts and emotions can go a long way in getting you to evade the condition of unforgiveness; since failure to forgive begins with your emotions.
Nantume had a habit of allowing her thoughts to stray each time someone upset her; a thing which commonly caused her to blow things out of proportion. Even for the slightest of offences, she would let her emotions go off on a rampage as she coined up all sorts of assumptions to explain the reasons why her offenders had treated her in a certain manner. What made things worse was that, the more she dwelt on the offences, the more she would convince herself that her ‘assumptions’ were no longer ‘just assumptions’, but ‘gospel truths’! And this she did, without even bothering to check if her convictions were true or false. Unsurprisingly, this only served to work her up the more, instead of cooling her down. Before she could know it, she had frothed up very bitter feelings against a list of her so-called annoyers, even over tiny offences that would never have hurt a fly.
Unforgiveness is like a baby beast that feeds on your thoughts; and, as you persistently re-narrate the offences in your mind, this creature literally grows into a giant monster that spews out so much bitterness and venom that could threaten your well-being.
Therefore, never hoard offences. Rather, develop the ability to control your emotions once provoked. When offended, learn to apply brakes on your thoughts. Avoid the temptation of repeating emotional post-mortems; as often, re-analysing what happened just unnecessarily amplifies the situation. Quieten your spirit. Be still…, remember that this is not the time to make rushed choices. Making decisions when you are emotionally charged is like driving a car while drunk - the likelihood of an accident is very high! Be emotionally alert…; ‘mind your mouth’ as uncontrolled emotions can push you to say things you would not have otherwise uttered. Also, watch what you write whether on paper, e-mail, SMS or WhatsApp messages. Remember that words cannot be ‘retrieved from people’s ears and eyes’. So, choose your words carefully, and sieve them before unleashing them. Never forget that words have the potential to inflict permanent damage to relationships.