07.01.T02-ES — Evaluation Scorecard: Assessing a Prospective Partner's Emotional Intelligence
07.01.T02-ES — Evaluation Scorecard: Assessing a Prospective Partner's Emotional Intelligence
Purpose
This tool helps you evaluate whether a prospective marriage partner demonstrates the emotional intelligence required for a healthy and enduring marriage relationship. It focuses on the qualities highlighted in this chapter, including self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, social skills, emotional responsibility, discernment and the ability to understand and respond appropriately to the emotions and concerns of others.
Instructions
Rate the prospective partner against each of the following indicators based on your observations, interactions and experiences. Circle the score that best reflects your assessment.
| Assessment Area | Score (1–5) |
|---|---|
| The person demonstrates awareness of personal emotional triggers and weaknesses. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person regulates emotions rather than reacting impulsively. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person listens carefully before responding to concerns. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person takes other people's concerns seriously rather than dismissing them. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person demonstrates empathy when another individual is distressed or uncertain. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person communicates concerns and emotions respectfully. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person seeks to understand situations before drawing conclusions. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person treats vulnerable people with dignity and respect. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person handles disagreement without becoming defensive or hostile. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person demonstrates emotional stability during difficult situations. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
Scoring Guide
| Score | Meaning |
|---|---|
| 1 | Very Poor |
| 2 | Poor |
| 3 | Fair |
| 4 | Good |
| 5 | Excellent |
Total Score: ______ / 50
Interpreting Your Score
| Score Range | Interpretation |
|---|---|
| 41–50 | Strong Evidence of Emotional Intelligence. The person demonstrates many of the qualities associated with healthy, emotionally intelligent relationships. |
| 31–40 | Generally Positive but Requires Further Observation. The person displays encouraging qualities, though some areas require closer attention. |
| 21–30 | Proceed with Caution. Certain behaviours may create challenges within a future marriage relationship. |
| 10–20 | Significant Concerns Exist. Multiple indicators suggest that emotional intelligence requires substantial development. |
Part A: Evidence of Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation
1. What evidence suggests that the person understands his or her emotional triggers?
2. How does the person normally respond when tired, stressed, frustrated or under pressure?
3. What evidence suggests that the person thinks before speaking or acting?
4. Have you observed situations where the person deliberately controlled an emotional reaction? Explain.
5. What evidence suggests that the person takes responsibility for personal behaviour rather than blaming circumstances or other people?
Part B: Learning from Evelyn and Julius
6. How does the person respond when another individual raises a concern that he or she does not fully agree with?
7. What evidence suggests that the person listens carefully before dismissing another person's concerns?
8. Have you observed situations where the person became defensive instead of seeking to understand another person's perspective? Explain.
9. What evidence suggests that the person is willing to provide reassurance when another person feels insecure, confused or unsettled?
10. Is the person more likely to respond like Boaz by seeking understanding or like Julius by dismissing concerns? Provide examples.
Part C: Learning from Ruth and Boaz
11. What evidence suggests that the person seeks information before forming conclusions about other people?
12. What evidence suggests that the person evaluates character rather than appearances, rumours or assumptions?
13. What evidence suggests that the person treats vulnerable people with dignity and respect?
14. What evidence suggests that the person behaves honourably when nobody is watching?
15. What evidence suggests that the person exercises patience when important matters cannot be resolved immediately?
Part D: Assessing Marriage Readiness
16. Which qualities demonstrated by Boaz have you observed in this person?
☐ Thoughtful decision-making
☐ Respect for others
☐ Empathy
☐ Patience
☐ Emotional restraint
☐ Good judgement
☐ Responsible communication
☐ Consideration for vulnerable people
☐ Integrity
☐ Emotional stability
☐ Other: ________________________
Provide examples.
17. Which behaviours displayed by Julius, if any, have you observed in this person?
☐ Dismissing concerns
☐ Defensiveness
☐ Failure to reassure
☐ Poor listening
☐ Emotional insensitivity
☐ Avoiding difficult conversations
☐ Other: ________________________
Provide examples.
18. What evidence suggests that this person would take a future spouse's concerns seriously?
19. What evidence suggests that this person would create emotional safety within marriage?
20. What evidence suggests that this person would remain trustworthy during emotionally difficult situations?
Part E: My Overall Assessment
21. What is the strongest evidence that this person possesses emotional intelligence?
22. Which emotional intelligence weakness, if left unaddressed, would have the greatest impact on a future marriage relationship?
23. Based on the evidence available, how would you describe this person's ability to understand and respond to the emotions of others?
24. What should my next step be?
☐ Continue building the relationship
☐ Observe the relationship for a longer period
☐ Discuss concerns openly
☐ Seek counsel
☐ Reassess the relationship
☐ Other: ________________________
Why?
25. Complete the statement below.
Based on the evidence available, I believe this person's level of emotional intelligence is __________________________ because __________________________.
