07.04.T01-RS — Reflection Scorecard: What Does Nurturing Behaviour Reveal About Marriage Readiness?

Reflecting on the Lessons from Joy Nyabongo, Nancy, Michael, Elizabeth and Zechariah

This chapter demonstrates that nurturing behaviour is not merely about being kind. It is revealed through a person's ability to create emotional safety, recognise the needs of others, provide encouragement, remain emotionally available and continue offering care even when circumstances become difficult. Through the experiences of Joy Nyabongo and her husband, Nancy and Michael, and Elizabeth and Zechariah, we gain valuable insights into both choosing a suitable marriage partner and becoming one.

Part A: Lessons from Joy Nyabongo's Marriage Experience

1. What did Joy Nyabongo learn about her husband's nurturing nature from his habit of holding her hand while crossing busy streets?

2. What did her husband's care during her prolonged illness reveal about nurturing behaviour in marriage?

3. Why was his decision to remain by her side throughout that difficult season significant?

4. What did Joy Nyabongo's willingness to care for her husband during his period of physical limitation reveal about nurturing behaviour?

5. What did the couple's openness about their past lives before salvation reveal about emotional safety within marriage?

6. What lesson can be learnt from the way they supported each other during betrayal, financial hardship and emotional distress?

7. Which aspect of their support for one another's personal growth and development impressed you most?

Part B: Lessons from Nancy and Michael

8. What did Nancy's treatment of her sick maid reveal about her ability to nurture and care for others?

9. Why do you think Michael was deeply disturbed by Nancy's response when Sarah nearly collapsed?

10. What did Nancy's conduct during the zoo visit reveal about her level of attentiveness to other people's interests, feelings and priorities?

11. What did her reaction to the frightened toddler reveal about her nurturing capacity?

12. Why was Michael concerned by Nancy's tendency to dismiss situations that mattered to other people?

13. What finally convinced Michael that Nancy was not the right person for him?

14. What warning signs from Nancy's behaviour should not be ignored during courtship?

Part C: Lessons from Elizabeth and Zechariah

15. What does Elizabeth's response to Mary's distress teach about recognising and responding to another person's emotional needs?

16. What can be learnt from Elizabeth's willingness to provide Mary with emotional support, reassurance and a safe place during a difficult season?

17. What does Elizabeth's discretion regarding sensitive matters teach about creating emotional safety?

18. What can be learnt from the way Elizabeth supported Zechariah during his period of muteness?

19. What does the account of Elizabeth and Zechariah teach about patience and emotional availability during prolonged challenges?

20. What can be learnt from Zechariah's support of Elizabeth during the disagreement surrounding John's naming?

Part D: Recognising Nurturing Behaviour

21. Which of the five indicators of nurturing behaviour stood out most to you?

☐ Creating an emotionally safe environment

☐ Acknowledging and considering other people's feelings and perspectives

☐ Demonstrating encouragement and support

☐ Remaining patient and emotionally available

☐ Providing care and remaining present during conflict

22. Why do you consider this indicator particularly important in marriage?

23. Which of the five indicators was most clearly demonstrated in Joy Nyabongo's marriage? Explain.

24. Which of the five indicators was most noticeably absent in Nancy's behaviour? Explain.

25. Which of the five indicators was most clearly demonstrated by Elizabeth and Zechariah? Explain.

Part E: Choosing Marriage Material

26. Which behaviours described in this chapter would encourage you to continue pursuing a relationship with a prospective marriage partner?

27. Which behaviours described in this chapter would encourage you to slow down and observe a prospective partner more carefully?

28. Which behaviours described in this chapter would cause you to question a person's suitability for marriage?

29. What has this chapter taught you about the importance of observing how a person treats people who can offer little or nothing in return?

30. What has this chapter taught you about the importance of observing how a person responds when others are vulnerable, distressed or in need?

Part F: Becoming Marriage Material

31. Which nurturing behaviour discussed in this chapter would strengthen your readiness for marriage if developed further?

32. Which attitudes or behaviours could prevent a person from becoming nurturing within marriage?

33. Which lesson from Joy Nyabongo's marriage challenged your thinking most?

34. Which warning from Nancy and Michael's story should remain with you as you move forward?

35. Which lesson from Elizabeth and Zechariah's relationship would strengthen a future or current marriage?

Part G: My Key Discoveries

36. What has this chapter taught you about the difference between appearing caring and genuinely possessing a nurturing nature?

37. What qualities distinguish a nurturing marriage partner from a non-nurturing one?

38. What has this chapter taught you about emotional safety, encouragement, patience and presence during difficult seasons?

39. What new insight did you gain about evaluating nurturing behaviour before marriage?

Before I Move On

40. Complete the statement below.

The nurturing behaviour that I will pay closest attention to when evaluating a prospective marriage partner is __________________________ because __________________________.

41. Complete the statement below.

The nurturing behaviour that I most need to develop in my own life is __________________________ because __________________________.

42. Complete the statement below.

After studying this chapter, I now believe nurturing behaviour is essential in marriage because __________________________.