BG.T01-PRR — Pre-Reading Reflection: My Relational and Social Readiness for Marriage

Purpose

This reflection tool helps you examine your current beliefs, attitudes and practices before beginning Relational and Social Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material. It provides an opportunity to reflect on how you currently relate with other people, handle differences, manage conflict, communicate expectations, maintain boundaries and build healthy relationships.

The Guide explores important relational and social competencies that influence both the ability to become marriage material and the ability to identify marriage material in another person. It encourages readers to evaluate the quality of their relationships before entering marriage.

There are no right or wrong answers. The purpose is to establish a starting point for your learning journey and help you identify areas that may require attention as you prepare for a healthy marriage relationship.

Part A: My Current Understanding of Relational and Social Readiness

1. In your view, what does it mean to be relationally and socially ready for marriage?

2. Why do you think relational and social skills are important in a marriage relationship?

3. What relational qualities do you believe are most important in a prospective marriage partner?

4. What relational qualities do you believe are most important to develop in yourself?

Part B: Individuality and Respecting Differences

5. How comfortable are you with people whose personalities, opinions, interests or approaches differ from your own?

☐ Very Comfortable

☐ Comfortable

☐ Somewhat Comfortable

☐ Uncomfortable

☐ Very Uncomfortable

Why?

6. How do you normally respond when someone disagrees with you?

7. How important is it for marriage partners to respect each other's individuality?

8. What behaviours would make you feel that your individuality is respected?

9. What behaviours would make you feel that your individuality is being threatened or suppressed?

Part C: Conflict Management

10. How would you describe your current approach to conflict?

☐ Very Healthy

☐ Healthy

☐ Moderately Healthy

☐ Unhealthy

☐ Very Unhealthy

Why?

11. How do you normally respond when you are hurt, offended or disappointed?

12. What conflict-management habit concerns you most about yourself?

13. What conflict-management strength do you believe will benefit your future marriage relationship?

Part D: Managing Expectations

14. How aware are you of your expectations of a future spouse?

☐ Very Aware

☐ Aware

☐ Somewhat Aware

☐ Slightly Aware

☐ Not Aware

Why?

15. How comfortable are you discussing expectations openly in a relationship?

☐ Very Comfortable

☐ Comfortable

☐ Somewhat Comfortable

☐ Uncomfortable

☐ Very Uncomfortable

Why?

16. What expectations do you believe are most important to discuss before marriage?

17. Have unmet expectations ever affected one of your relationships? What happened?

Part E: My Relationships with Other People

18. How would you describe the quality of your current relationships with family members, friends, colleagues or other significant people?

19. What relationship patterns do you repeatedly observe in your life?

20. What relationship pattern would you most like to strengthen?

21. What relationship pattern would you most like to change?

Part F: My Current Position

22. Which of the following areas do you currently regard as your greatest strength?

☐ Respecting Individuality and Differences

☐ Conflict Management

☐ Managing Expectations

☐ Communication

☐ Building Healthy Relationships

☐ Maintaining Healthy Boundaries

Why?

23. Which of the following areas currently requires the greatest attention?

☐ Respecting Individuality and Differences

☐ Conflict Management

☐ Managing Expectations

☐ Communication

☐ Building Healthy Relationships

☐ Maintaining Healthy Boundaries

Why?

24. Which area would you most like this Guide to help you strengthen?

Part G: Looking Ahead

25. What concerns you most about preparing for marriage?

26. What concerns you most about choosing a marriage partner?

27. What concerns you most about becoming marriage material?

Before I Begin

28. Complete the statement below.

The strongest aspect of my relational and social readiness for marriage is ____________________________________________________________.

29. Complete the statement below.

The aspect of my relational and social readiness that requires the greatest attention is ____________________________________________________________.

30. Complete the statement below.

The relationship skill I most need to strengthen is ____________________________________________________________.

31. Complete the statement below.

The most important lesson I hope to gain from this Guide is ____________________________________________________________.

32. Complete the statement below.

The greatest relational obstacle to becoming marriage material is ____________________________________________________________.

33. Complete the statement below.

The clearest sign that a person is relationally and socially ready for marriage is ____________________________________________________________.

34. Complete the statement below.

The most important contribution I hope this Guide will make to my life is ____________________________________________________________.

35. Complete the statement below.

As I begin this Guide, I commit myself to ____________________________________________________________.