When Spiritual Mismatch Quietly Unravelled Donald and Harriet’s Love Aspirations 

A Fictitious Story 

Donald was a young doctor, known for his diligence, professional competence and staunch Christianity. The man was respected by colleagues for his calm judgement and disciplined work ethic; and by fellow believers for his commitment to God’s Word, prayer and ‘church’. His salvation was not a label he carried casually. It governed his decisions, relationships and approach to life.

Harriet was a bright and energetic medical intern assigned to Donald’s ward for her clinical rotations. From the very first day, the young woman had admired Donald’s competence and composure. And, gradually, that admiration grew into what one could term as ‘affection’, to the extent that she began attending his church. Much as the intern had initially addressed him formally as “Dr. Donald,” the title faded as familiarity grew. “Donnie, I really appreciate how patient you are with us,” she would often say; her tone warm, affirming and sometimes suggestive.

Their growing closeness did not go unnoticed. For instance, an elder at church casually remarked one evening that Donald might be close to finding ‘his missing rib’. Although the doctor had laughed it off but inwardly, he felt his attachment to Harriet deepening by the day. That was how Donald began praying privately, asking God for clarity. “Lord, is she the one? If yes, please give me a sign.” Little did he anticipate how quickly that prayer would be answered.

The first clear warning emerged one afternoon in the staff common room when Harriet stormed in, visibly agitated. “Donald, I can’t work with Dr. Shirley anymore. She is too bossy. Today I almost walked out.” Donald listened attentively and tried to calm the young intern down. “Harriet, I understand! I know how difficult such personalities can be. But the Bible teaches us patience. Sometimes it is better to pause and pray first so that the Holy Spirit directs our response.”

Harriet cut him short. “Pray? I discovered a long time ago that there are instances where prayer does not work. I’m giving her just one more chance. Then she will regret it.” Her tone was sharp, resolute and unyielding. In that moment, Donald realised that the spiritual principles that he considered foundational were irrelevant to her. As far as Harriet was concerned, conflict had to be handled through retaliation rather than restraint. Clearly, what the Bible had to ‘say’ was not an option; and the Word had no authority on her reaction.

In the months that followed, these differences became more glaringly visible. While Donald prioritised consistent church attendance, fellowship and spiritual discipline, Harriet’s participation in such activities was intermittent. If she was tired, busy or in the mood for secular entertainment, church was easily skipped. Rather than allowing her ‘salvation’ to govern her programs; convenience did.

There was a time when a visiting preacher from a renowned hospital in South Sudan was scheduled to minister at their church one weekend. Donald urged Harriet not to miss the event. “This is an opportunity you should not ignore,” he had insisted the night before. Yet, ten minutes prior to the sermon, Harriet sent a message: “Overslept again. Don’t wait for me.” Donald sat through the service distracted, increasingly aware that he and Harriet did not accord the same weight to spiritual priorities.

The divide widened further when Harriet excitedly announced her appointment as Secretary for the Young Executives Network, which met every Wednesday evenings, the same time for Bible study at church. “This is building my social capital,” she had argued. “I can’t drop it just for fellowship.” Donald was struck by how easily spiritual commitments were replaced. Even during sermons, Harriet’s attention would be frequently absorbed by WhatsApp messages.

The final verdict came one Sunday morning when Donald decided to surprise Harriet by picking her up for church. He knocked repeatedly at her apartment door with no response. As he turned to leave, the door opened slowly, then a visibly tired Harriet appeared, disheveled, eyes heavy with sleep. Before he could speak, a male voice echoed from inside, “Babe, who’s at the door?”

As Donald visibly froze, Harriet panicked. “Donnie… it is not what you think,” she whispered, her breath heavy with alcohol. In that moment, everything aligned painfully clearly. This was not merely a moral lapse or emotional betrayal. It was confirmation that they were walking in entirely different spiritual directions.

That was when Donald turned and walked away without a word, but deeply heartbroken. He does not remember the sermon that day. All he could mutter was, “Lord, I thought she was the one but now I see.” That evening, the man finally admitted the truth he had been resisting the whole time. He and Harriet were far from being spiritually aligned. And from the way things looked, such an alignment would never happen.

From that Sunday, Harriet never returned to church. A few months down the road, Donald learned that she was expecting a child and soon thereafter became the second wife of one of the wealthiest guys in the city.

Donald remains unmarried, convinced that waiting is wiser than building a future with someone whose spiritual direction does not align with his own.